December 2, 2009

I was reviewing the blog and I made reference to the full moon on October 4, 2009 and this evening is another full moon. Comforting to know that there is a consistent mystery out there. In a strange way there is comfort there.

So much has taken place and I am still recovery from the treatments and all the apparatus. I have still not been able to eat or drink (now I have had the odd sips of water or bubbly. Sometimes it works and then other times I open a place up to vomit, which seems to have happened a lot over the last couple of days. I am told my stomach just has to get use to things. It seems that is taking a while to do that.
I went for a CT scan and meeting with the team on Wednesday to get further results and suggestions. This calls on a lot more patience as there has not been any change on the tongue and much discomfort. Using medication helps with the pain, but certainly creates a day of slow movement and lots of sleep.

I had a great weekend with Joan and Vera. Many laughs and tender moments with heartfelt joy. It was fun to have that family around and get some extra care. The three of us got to spend some alone time together, slept at Dave’s place (Joan’s friend) who loaned us space for one night. We each got a king size bed with silk sheets, what a treat.

I have attached more pictures. We created a ritual to burn the mask used for radiation. It was a lovely night and the fire was extremely hot so it got to burn well. Thank you Eddie. We added prayers and gratitude and Vera said this was our winter solstice saying goodbye to what we did not want and hello to what we want. Richard and I have done many solstice ceremonies over the years and I felt incredible love and awareness to have my siblings involved and Vera stepping up to add to the ceremony. Different generations there and we are role modeling to different levels. From a baby, 12 year old, 25 year old and 28 year old.

Kathy Tiovanen the minister from Erin Mills United Church (EMUC) came over to chat. We arrived at the conclusion some things are left to be in mystery or they end up in the same way they were created. Let go and let god. We spoke of that in reference to global warming and saw how similar it is to healing a major illness. One can spend days and hours searching for the why (where I go from time to time) and not be fruitful but more depressed. Better to accept what is and high priority of getting well.

A couple of cousins came by on Friday from Cornwall and Kingston. We had some good laughs and teasing. I was thinking we can do that because we know we can get away with it knowing the intent is in the spirit of fun.