December 19, 2009

Another big shift! A true celebration today. I am much warmer – literally. I have been constantly cold with the loss of 20 lbs., and not eating solids it is hard to stay warm in these temperatures. Joan (my sister) mentioned getting microfibre long johns sets. It worked, much warmer. What every person needs is someone who listens and comes up with ideas. I started eating little bits in the last two days. I had applesauce and a small protein drink. That is a huge step for me. It’s coming along.

I went to Knightsbridge Christmas luncheon on Wednesday to say hi to all the people I worked with. It was great to see everyone and at first I felt very nervous. How would everyone react as I have changed so much? With the weight loss and distorted mouth, the bandage around the neck and head tilted over and my voice going in and out? After hugs, I forgot all about those fear thoughts and just enjoyed hanging out. They were just delighted to see me again and encouraging.

I mentioned to someone I might pay for this the next day in recovery. Well I must watch my words, because that night my feeding tube got blocked and we could not get any liquids in at all. By the next morning nothing changed so we rushed to Princess Margaret Hospital. I spent the evening not being able to access the liquid food so come the morning I was quite weak. They flushed it out with a soda compound and reassured me it isn’t the first time. They also spent time with the hole in my neck and re-bandaged it. I had a heart to heart talk with two of the people on my team (both head nurses) who encouraged me and put some realistic timeframes in my healing process as well what to expect over the next while, including the trip to Montreal for Christmas.

The message was about being gentle, slow and patience. This is not just a day surgery and then you're back on your feet. I got a little shaken up and discouraged but grateful for the truth and reminders. Still stung.When I returned home I reached out to a few angels to continue filling my heart and inspiration.


This quote was sent to me among others and I thought was so appropriate.
You must be at the end of your rope. I felt a tug.~Author Unknown


On that note, it's time to relax and enjoy the Christmas holiday time. If you are reading this before, I do want to wish you a great Christmas and thanks for reading this.

It is with the hope that if you know someone who is experiencing something similar I hope I have offered some words of insight from my experiences.